Members leaving

[Leila Raven]

It's always difficult for me when members leave the site. Today two members I admired greatly disappeared without a word, and I have no idea why.

I'm sitting in a bit of shock, with a sense of loss and curiosity that has me feeling sad and achy. I guess as a new site owner, this is something I'm going to have to get used to. Getting attached to members, and then seeing them go.

I'm sure some of you were also touched by those who have left in some way, and if not this time, a time may come when someone you admire leaves.

I will never track down a member that has gone after they do to try to find out what happened or get them to return to the site. I have great respect for peoples decisions and privacy, and I assume usually that if they don't tell me something, it's because they don't want to. So as much as it may be information I want to have, it's not information that I feel entitled to over another's right to their own choices around privacy.

Likewise, if a member has told me why they have left, but not announced to the site over all, I won't pass on that information to you. In this case I don't know what happened and don't have information to share, but if I did, I would only do it if I had the permission of those who had left.

That being said, if for some reason any of you reading this decide to leave at some point, please consider letting us know why. Not just myself, but the membership as a whole. I would rather negative opinions about myself and/or the site, than people just disappearing into the ether.

The good news is we have also welcomed many wonderful new minds and spirits.

Be well

Leila

[Leila Raven]

You know, I have come to appreciate people and opportunities like this when they present themselves in my life. Yes, they are difficult and unpleasant, but I've found I've gotten good at being nice to when people are pleasant and kind, but I still have to work on having compassion for those who are a little less so. My compassion is being well tested... I'm going to look at is as opportunity for growth.

I'm learning good tips from my members in how they are handling negativity, drama, and conflict, and I hope maybe some are learning from my less than perfect efforts also.

What I am happy to see from yourself and so many others here are people who are sincere and genuine, and wanting to come together in an atmosphere of compassionate acceptance and understanding.

[Leila Raven]

I don't suffer long, lol.. I feel a little twinge, the hurt, I know and agree with all you say, and have had the same lessons learned many times. However my nature will always be that I suffer these things somewhat, I am sensitive, it's just a part of who I am... it's sometimes a weakness, and sometimes a strength, like anything else I suppose. *smile*

Thank you though for connecting. I have let it go and moved on now, emotionally speaking... The spirit is light, and filled with joy today.

How can it not be, when so many incredible people like yourself keep sharing their compassionate viewpoints, caring words, and authentic selves, and occasional well needed kick in my pants. *smile*

Thanks for being a friend.

[3q31ysrgkm1nt]

I welcome all who come.. I wish them well when they leave.. but never forget to cherish all who remain. :)

[Leila Raven]

Well said!

[3erkr3x6d4zja]

I know what you mean! I recently started writing my 1st Blog ever & I have to try & not take it personally if nobody comments it! But I think in time it will get easier :)

[02a10ciq97kvq]

Dear Leila,

 

It's possible that some people at a spiritual site like this might "disappear" because they feel like being too open about their spirituality affects them in a negative way. I sort of get that feeling, like if I write something on the internet at night, then I get up and I'm feeling a lot more private.

 

Plus, there's things in some traditions (maybe most) about saying too much, as in the phrase, (paraphrased), "Those who don't know, talk." But you think of the old monks with their vow of silence, keeping down the pride of the ego. And if you have real experiences, strange experiences, I think the traditions also recommend keeping it to yourself, because false motives can enter in.

 

Or here's one that might be common: You go to read and meditate over a spiritual book, then continually catch yourself thinking what kind of essay, blog post, or comment you could make about this point or that point. It can be very distracting, displacing this moment and this activity for a future activity. I do that all the time, and it's frustrating.

 

I suppose there are other reasons, like busyness, disagreement with someone, etc. You have a post somewhere on "You're Not Going To Like Everyone Here."

 

I hate to be so verbose, but that's the way I am. Someone might even prefer a smaller group, know what I mean? More confidential, cozier, etc.

 

As for me, if I ever leave (unless I suddenly die), I'll let you know, because I appreciate your concern and want to be a proper guest.

 

--All the best, dbkundalini.

[Leila Raven]

Thanks for this. *smile*  My health has curbed my verbosity, but I'm someone that struggles to keep things short most of the time, so no worries on that account.

I'm actually quite okay with people moving on really, I want people to follow their own path and their own hearts and for many this won't be a place for them to do that, and that's perfectly fine. Sometimes though, like with a couple of our members leaving, the unexpectedness can throw one, especially if you've formed emotional connections. Which I do easily. :)