I was talking to My-Self.....or.....Conversation with My HGA

[Brandon Muhs]

.......I wasn't really sure how I was not dead at this point. It is hard to delineate the Mystical from the Magickal whilst in the midst of a serious drug rampage.

Be that as it may, This is where things got heavy. Real Heavy.....

 

TO KNOW, TO DARE, TO WILL, TO KEEP SILENT

...

 

I had been 'hallucinating', as is the typical term for mystical success in the eyes of the profane, for well over a week. The drugs were long gone from my system but the fact still remains; the Veil was rent and I was experiencing some sort of active interactive Mystical construct at all waking hours. It was, to say the least, quite disturbing.

 

I was in fact dying. Not the typical physical death we so fear. This was the Death of Self. The I Dilated and fixed on this Cosmic and AEtheric After Life. But after what? How could I keep going in this world after seeing such beauty and terriying ordeals? Shadows and mind fuckery to be sure. But it was all still unclear. I only knew I needed to pay attention....but for what?

 

My wife and unwilling magickal partner was aware of the ordeal to which I was enduring, though she did not approve of the methods to which I got there. Seldom are they whom love us so dear;-)

It was mid-day, mid-summer. She when to the store and I was sitting alone in bed just watching these strange and Living manifestaons of My Self all around me. To try to describe it would only devalue the scope that was the Veil Rent. If you have ever ingested large  amounts of potent psychedelics or stood in the Void of the Veil Rent, you will Understand. If not, this will all seem quite Insane. Which it was;-)

 

---BAPHE METIS---

I was sitting in bed looking at the wall. The etxtures and colors wer alive and at this point I was discovering that not only was I hallucinating, but that I was able to interact with these imagined swirling and now becoming geometric fractuals before me. It began with the wall and as the interaction became self evident and my awe and splendour grew, the focus shifted and I was aswirling my finger clockwise in the air before me watching this spiralling pinwheel of crystaline clear prismatic imagination dance in front of my eyes! I was in complete Ego collapse.

Again, no one else was there and I was in compete shock and awe at this spectical.

 

I then laid back on the bed and tried to "get my head togetehr" so to speak, and began some breating and optic exercises I like to call the Alice in Wonderland effect, more on that later. It is a flexation of the eye muscles that give a strange growing and shrinking appearance to your surroundings.

As I did this, Something drew my attention to the top of the wall where the ceiling connects. It was a sort of invisible sparkle that caught my eye. With my attention fully on the edge of the wall I saw what appeared to be a great flowing of water pouring over it!

I thought, That s really weird. But at this point.....par for the course.

As the roomflooded with this invisible Light/Water, panic and complete surrrender were the only things I remember. As the water touched my feet I was suprised how cold yet inviting it was.

Then just as soon as the water washed over me it began to recede. As I was still trying to comprehend what the fuck just happened a figure caught my eye just in front of me and to the left by the door of the bedroom. I noticed because I could clearly see the bright noon day sun throught the window in the living room. What really grabbed my attention was that there was NOONE there! BUT i could see a person as though invisible yet visible as the Waters drained it left the shimmering outline of the human form. Just as I was SEEING it and knowing that this was what I was seeing the form turned and walked out of the room leaving footprints on the carpet!!! Now I cannot stress enough the rationale I was undertaking at that moment. I am a skeptic prone to bouts of fanatic fantacy. But for all accounts, this was REAL.

So I followed the foot prints.

Now I had some serious concerns through out all this that my mind had gone. I had done too much, stayed awake too long, whatever it is in these moment s that we try to convince ourselves we have a good bead on things.

I followed the foot prints to the bathroom where I sat on the toilet and wondered how I was going to explain to my wife that I was competely insane.

Then she Appeared!

It was in the shadow of the Light and the Dark. The conversation was long, probably almost an hour......To be continued....