WARNING! There will be people on this site you do NOT like.

[Leila Raven]

In fact, unless you have the compassion, empathy, heart and mind of a saint, as the site grows I can pretty much guarantee it.

There will be those people here. Those people you try so desperately to avoid. Those people that grate on your nerves. Those people that believe in *that* stuff, you know, maybe it's the scary stuff, or maybe it's fluffy bunny stuff. Maybe it's not what they believe, but how they shove it down your throat. Or so it seems. Or maybe it's that they just seem to know it all, and they're SO wrong. You know THOSE people.

Well guess what, we're all one of those people. All of us come off the wrong way to someone sometime. Yeah, we might whine in our heads, but we know better. I'm really a NICE person, a SMART person, a RIGHT person. My intentions are all in the right place. Well guess what, we're all one of those people too.

Ayup.

There will be people here that will use words you don't like, and find offensive.

There will be people here that have beliefs and practices, that you find disturbing, upsetting, or maybe silly, stupid, or trivial. All of us, will have SOME negative assumptions about someone on this site.

Bottom line, we are all who we are.

If we want the freedom to be ourselves, we must extend that freedom to others.

If we want to be respected for our own choices, faiths, ideas, beliefs, we have to extend it to others.

What then to do with those individuals that rub many people the wrong way? Who are more extreme on the edge of a more out there belief, or method of expressing themselves that they disrupt a lot of people a lot of the time. I'm not sure honestly how I will deal with individuals that may really push this sites members buttons.

My first line of approach is trying to work toward an inclusive solution. Bring resolution and positive change without excluding someone. I would like to make removing someone from this site a really last resort.

There are people who thrive on conflict, and conflict is also often a positive part of people who are going through periods of growth and change. Overcoming conflicts. Learning how to resolve conflict. As well as learning how to communicate with others effectively and to co-operate with others, is one of the most meaningful things we can do actually in terms of our self growth and development.

You can use conflict with others on this site as catalysts for positive growth and change, for yourself, and for others. You can choose to try to change what you can change, not that other person, but yourself. You can choose to try to expand your empathy and compassion. You can make an effort to try harder to understand why that other person is who they are, believes what they believe, and feels how they feel, or expresses themselves how they do. All of us have baggage, history, triggers, brainwashing, etc, to overcome. All of us. We are all the walking wounded. If you want a less judgemental more compassionate world. WE have to co-create it.

We can start co-creating it here.

Defuse conflict, keep conflict to places where people who want to embrace it only can, and not impose our conflict onto others who do not want to be a part of it. Recognize trolling behaviours and people who feed on negative energy, or are addicted, literally to the adrenaline rush of the 'fight' or flight response, and just like a good fight (yup, some do, let them fight with others that like to do battle, and if your the pacifist type like me, learn to walk away). I have a tendency as a pacifist to want to repress or smooth over conflict, perhaps more than is ultimately healthy. Really, who gets to decide? and maybe what is healthy for one person isn't the same for another...

I know you're all intelligent enough to really get what I'm saying here.

Conflict will happen, be ready for it, focus not on what I can do as a site owner to fix it for you, or what the other person has to do to stop bothering you, and focus on the only change that really matters, the one you can bring with you off site and everywhere you go. Learn your own personal way of dealing with it, create strategies and plans for self for sharing spiritual space with a diverse group of people.

This place will have a lot of freedom, for many people, that may feel like a lack of 'security', that lack of security, is not coming from the site, that feeling of insecurity, is a feeling, and it comes from within you, and only you, can address it. You can avoid it, or you can understand it, and control it, rather than letting it control you.

Leila

[2uotpvvkxabgi]

Greetings Leila! Just found this forum, glad you posted on this subject which can be a true bone of contention on any site such as this...I'm glad I have joined, there are wonderful groups to become a part of! And yes, it's truly dependent on ourselves to try to come to terms with others who, intentionally or not, appear to pull our trigers. I'm happy you posted this important post. Blessings, Michele B:)

[2uotpvvkxabgi]

Good point my friend....Blessings, Michele B:)

[1kma5f610bmnp]

All I can say is that you are one of the most intelligent well spoken people I have met in a very long time and it is an honor and pleasure to be here with you on this journey.

I know many people who just dont seem to be happy if everyone around them is miserable. I will leve the rst as to not upset anyone who may take anything the wrong way as I am sure i wont mean it the way it may be interpretted.

I agree whole heartedly! There are those here who do not believe as I do and that is perfectly fine with me.

It is impossible to make everyone happy all of the time.

To all the Wiccans, Pagans, Satanists, Vampires, etc. etc. we can still be friends even if we dont believe in all of the same things.

Blessings to one and All

Natural

[2uotpvvkxabgi]

Spooky Old Fox, I wholeheartedly agree with you! It's hard enough to rely strictly on the written word to communiucate such complex ideas at times and the semantic's of words is so varied...I also try very hard to look at our similarities and if I can't, at least get a better understanding of where someone is really coming from. Blessings, Michele B:)

[2uotpvvkxabgi]

Greetings Natural Wiccan! So happy to talk with you again! I was telling Old Spooky Fox that to me, it is difficult to begin with to restrict our communication soley to writing. It can be misinterupted so easily and rightly so. I'm amazed that humans communicate as effectively as they do given the constraints on language. I totally agree with you, it's impossible to make everyone happy all of the time. Sometimes, if another member gets too hostile or demeaning to others the only thing one can do is to walk away. This happened to me just one time on another site that I really enjoy. Pagan Space. A member was deeply involved with several groups that I belonged to. I noticed how she belittled people (not just disagreeing mind you) through choice of words and tone of the msg. I did nothing, just watched how the grp facillitators struggled to make amends to others. She finally tore into me. I wrote her a note stating that even though she had the right to state her opinion she did not have the right to express such deliberate hostility to others. That was not the intent of the group. I aslo clearly and calmly told her that if she was going to continue this behavior that I simply would not respond to her comments. I set my boundaries and spoke my truth. That's all I could do. Blessings, Michele B:)

[0vnqvz804s50d]

Absolutely brilliant, I couldn't have put it better myself. You have a truly magnificent gift for writing and expressing how you feel into words. I hope you had a pleasant weekend.

always, Justin

[2r9rxfbf3uni9]

The road of life is rocky, you will stumble too. While your pointing fingers, someone else is judging you.  Could you be loved and be loved...Bob Marley

[Voren]

I love this and I am glad you wrote it because it makes  me feel like I can be open about what I believe without to much worry. I know there would be people on other forums that would find me absolutely rediculous because my beliefs can extend so far out (or even backword in time or so on and so forth) that I'd probably be run out. I've only met one soul online that I can find trust in and confide in thusfar. I hope that because you wrote this, I can feel safe in posting what I believe here too without to much ridicule or being chased off by and angry mob. Thanks again for writing this!

VOREN

[37k5peu2ugi2s]

usually the things about other people i don't like are things i don't like about myself...

if i love my fellows i don't have to like them...

[1bunocka2dvxf]

I'm glad that you posted this. I feel that making statements like this is important particularly among the earth-based/Pagan spiritual disciplines & the very intelligent, opinionated, strong-willed sort of people that are attracted to these paths. I've stated similar sentiments in my own Coven. This Great Work is adult spirituality, & must be approached with the compassion, space, wide-view & high-mind, respect for Self (all selves) & the Divine required to grow oneself & not choke on the inevitable hard lessons that will come.

[0r2uqekazfd94]

Thank You Lelia, for the beautiful forum

It has been too long for me to remember when I last complained. I know when I feel negative emotions, I try my best to not share the mood. I also spend time absorbing other personality energies that seem foreign.

I have come to learn that nothing can hurt us as long as we remain happy, as happiness alone seems to diffuse negative energy.

The only people I can not handle are those who inflict pain for the pleasure of watching people in misery, that just does not set well with me, and something in me tries hard to see this stuff stop.

I am not sure I have met people I don't like, there were a few I did not enjoy the company of though

Thanks again Sooo much!!!

[Grigori Rho Gharveyn]

To do list for today: Meet, mingle, explore, and don't forget to save the world...

We like all the points you make in your introduction Leila, thank you for encouraging people to rise above their own fears and prejudices.

It has grown a lot more difficult for us to meet anyone we do not like.  We may not like what someone may say, we may not like what someone may do, however, these days, we always fall in love with everyone we meet so we learn to like them even when we may find apsects of their characters we may not like intiially.

Ram Das taught us to appreciate the people we initially fail to like.  He says when he feels his heart contract in response to meeting someone, rather than expand, that he has been shown where within himself he needs to do more work.

All people are mirrors, we reflect each person we meet back to themselves.  So if we find qualities we do not like in another person, then most often these are reflections of places in ourselves where we do not like ourselves.

If we seek within ourselves to fix this, then the outer refelction changes in response, we may then find we like what we see in our new friends better.

 

Enjoy!