WARNING! There will be people on this site you do NOT like.

[Leila Raven]

In fact, unless you have the compassion, empathy, heart and mind of a saint, as the site grows I can pretty much guarantee it.

There will be those people here. Those people you try so desperately to avoid. Those people that grate on your nerves. Those people that believe in *that* stuff, you know, maybe it's the scary stuff, or maybe it's fluffy bunny stuff. Maybe it's not what they believe, but how they shove it down your throat. Or so it seems. Or maybe it's that they just seem to know it all, and they're SO wrong. You know THOSE people.

Well guess what, we're all one of those people. All of us come off the wrong way to someone sometime. Yeah, we might whine in our heads, but we know better. I'm really a NICE person, a SMART person, a RIGHT person. My intentions are all in the right place. Well guess what, we're all one of those people too.

Ayup.

There will be people here that will use words you don't like, and find offensive.

There will be people here that have beliefs and practices, that you find disturbing, upsetting, or maybe silly, stupid, or trivial. All of us, will have SOME negative assumptions about someone on this site.

Bottom line, we are all who we are.

If we want the freedom to be ourselves, we must extend that freedom to others.

If we want to be respected for our own choices, faiths, ideas, beliefs, we have to extend it to others.

What then to do with those individuals that rub many people the wrong way? Who are more extreme on the edge of a more out there belief, or method of expressing themselves that they disrupt a lot of people a lot of the time. I'm not sure honestly how I will deal with individuals that may really push this sites members buttons.

My first line of approach is trying to work toward an inclusive solution. Bring resolution and positive change without excluding someone. I would like to make removing someone from this site a really last resort.

There are people who thrive on conflict, and conflict is also often a positive part of people who are going through periods of growth and change. Overcoming conflicts. Learning how to resolve conflict. As well as learning how to communicate with others effectively and to co-operate with others, is one of the most meaningful things we can do actually in terms of our self growth and development.

You can use conflict with others on this site as catalysts for positive growth and change, for yourself, and for others. You can choose to try to change what you can change, not that other person, but yourself. You can choose to try to expand your empathy and compassion. You can make an effort to try harder to understand why that other person is who they are, believes what they believe, and feels how they feel, or expresses themselves how they do. All of us have baggage, history, triggers, brainwashing, etc, to overcome. All of us. We are all the walking wounded. If you want a less judgemental more compassionate world. WE have to co-create it.

We can start co-creating it here.

Defuse conflict, keep conflict to places where people who want to embrace it only can, and not impose our conflict onto others who do not want to be a part of it. Recognize trolling behaviours and people who feed on negative energy, or are addicted, literally to the adrenaline rush of the 'fight' or flight response, and just like a good fight (yup, some do, let them fight with others that like to do battle, and if your the pacifist type like me, learn to walk away). I have a tendency as a pacifist to want to repress or smooth over conflict, perhaps more than is ultimately healthy. Really, who gets to decide? and maybe what is healthy for one person isn't the same for another...

I know you're all intelligent enough to really get what I'm saying here.

Conflict will happen, be ready for it, focus not on what I can do as a site owner to fix it for you, or what the other person has to do to stop bothering you, and focus on the only change that really matters, the one you can bring with you off site and everywhere you go. Learn your own personal way of dealing with it, create strategies and plans for self for sharing spiritual space with a diverse group of people.

This place will have a lot of freedom, for many people, that may feel like a lack of 'security', that lack of security, is not coming from the site, that feeling of insecurity, is a feeling, and it comes from within you, and only you, can address it. You can avoid it, or you can understand it, and control it, rather than letting it control you.

Leila

[Grigori Rho Gharveyn]

Hi brother Bruce,

Why use a win-lose paradigm?  How about a win-win paradigm?

It is impossible, as we understand it, to offend an immortal, omniscient, omnipotent being.  You have to have weaknesses and insecurities to be offended, and God has none of these.

So we are pretty sure we never need to apologize to God.

As for apologizing to others, thats your free will choice, however, we do not regard it as a requirement.  Apologies are social conventions bound to the mundus.  Our spirits participate in a higher reality, a 'no-fault' zone where no apoplogies are ever needed because each spirit accepts sole responsibilitiy for their own incarnate experiences.

Spiritual Contracts -- There Are No Victims

 

As for healing without permission, that's ok too.

You never need permission for anything you do, and with healing, you cannot cause any harm.  If someone appears harmed by an energy healing, they have used their own energy to harm themselves.  All energy for a healing goes through a transfromation when you give that energy to someone else, the energy is then theirs to use as they like.

You can try to specify how the energy you give them will heal them, but if your intention isn't in alignment with their spirit's plans for their experiences in this lifetime, they convert the free energy to something that will help them follow their plans.

If the energy is 'refused' it returns to universe and is recycled, otherwise the energy is always accepted, even if the result is not in alignment with your intention.

Giving energy for a healing always helps you, regardless of your intent or the result with the other person.  When they heal in response this helps you most, but even if the energy is refused, giving the energy from your system opens you up, it increases your vitality by increasing the flow of energy through you.

Remote Healing – No Permission Needed

 

Bruce, calling yourself possibly worse than an idolator and talkiing about apologizing to God sounds like you feel guilty about something.

In our experience you only need to forgive yourself, but it helps to forgive all others who you may have ever felt hurt by. 

When we attach to pain or guilt we can only hurt ourselves.

If we accept the 'externalized' form of God, then in that context we see that God always forgives everyone, always.   No exceptions; consequently, no matter how hard it may be for you to forgive yourself, God will always forgive you.

When we learn to be more like God we learn to forgive ourselves and to accept ourselves as God accepts us, with unconditional love.  We must learn the same ;love for ourselves and everyone esle that God always has for all of us.

Learning unconditional love for ourselves becomes a foundation for learning to love all people unconditionally.

With unconditional love there is never any offense, regrets, or needs to apologize, there is only and always acceptance and love.

 

Blessed be...

 

[0r2uqekazfd94]

There is no right and wrong, just the way we do things.

There is none correct or incorrect or + or - Just the way we learn best. How should I chamge to suit a reader in light of this statement.

I only stste that power comes from surrender of control to God

[Grigori Rho Gharveyn]

In surrender to god there is no need for power, all is grace.

[0r2uqekazfd94]

In Life sometimes brothers need friction for a distraction to stay busy.... I feel this energy present when we discuss things, as we seem to differ and want to be be heard when we hear the other speak.

Therefore the title of this post very much applies to us here.... As we seem to incite each other to discusion on wethere we are correct or the other is wrong

[Grigori Rho Gharveyn]

mmm...

We would say that no one is ever wrong, that each person is correct in the context of their own life and experiences, always...

If we appear to criticise, perhaps we must be criticised... it all gets very circular...

<smile>

 

Love you lots brother Bruce!

Enjoy!

 

[0r2uqekazfd94]

Simple Steps to Healing by Dr. Joe Vitale

 

Two years ago, I heard about a therapist in Hawaii who cured a complete ward
of criminally insane patients - without ever seeing any of them. The
psychologist would study an inmate's chart and then look within himself to
see how he created that person's illness. As he improved himself, the
patient improved.

When I first heard this story, I thought it was an urban legend. How could
anyone heal anyone else by healing himself? How could even the best
self-improvement master cure the criminally insane?

It didn't make any sense. It wasn't logical, so I dismissed the story.

However, I heard it again a year later. I heard that the therapist had used
a Hawaiian healing process called ho 'oponopono. I had never heard of it,
yet I couldn't let it leave my mind. If the story was at all true, I had to
know more.

I had always understood "total responsibility" to mean that I am responsible
for what I think and do. Beyond that, it's out of my hands. I think that
most people think of total responsibility that way. We're responsible for
what we do, not what anyone else does. The Hawaiian therapist who healed
those mentally ill people would teach me an advanced new perspective about
total responsibility.

His name is Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. We probably spent an hour talking on our
first phone call. I asked him to tell me the complete story of his work as a
therapist. He explained that he worked at Hawaii State Hospital for four
years. That ward where they kept the criminally insane was dangerous.
Psychologists quit on a monthly basis. The staff called in sick a lot or
simply quit. People would walk through that ward with their backs against
the wall, afraid of being attacked by patients. It was not a pleasant place
to live, work, or visit.

Dr. Len told me that he never saw patients. He agreed to have an office and
to review their files. While he looked at those files, he would work on
himself. As he worked on himself, patients began to heal.

"After a few months, patients that had to be shackled were being allowed to
walk freely," he told me. "Others who had to be heavily medicated were
getting off their medications. And those who had no chance of ever being
released were being freed."

I was in awe.

"Not only that," he went on, "but the staff began to enjoy coming to work.
Absenteeism and turnover disappeared. We ended up with more staff than we
needed because patients were being released, and all the staff was showing
up to work. Today, that ward is closed."

This is where I had to ask the million dollar question: "What were you doing
within yourself that caused those people to change?"

"I was simply healing the part of me that created them," he said.

I didn't understand.

Dr. Len explained that total responsibility for your life means that
everything in your life - simply because it is in your life - is your
responsibility. In a literal sense the entire world is your creation.

Whew. This is tough to swallow. Being responsible for what I say or do is
one thing. Being responsible for what everyone in my life says or does is
quite another. Yet, the truth is this: if you take complete responsibility
for your life, then everything you see, hear, taste, touch, or in any way
experience is your responsibility because it is in your life.

This means that terrorist activity, the president, the economy - anything
you experience and don't like - is up for you to heal. They don't exist, in
a manner of speaking, except as projections from inside you. The problem
isn't with them, it's with you, and to change them, you have to change you.

I know this is tough to grasp, let alone accept or actually live. Blame is
far easier than total responsibility, but as I spoke with Dr. Len, I began
to realize that healing for him and in ho 'oponopono means loving yourself.
If you want to improve your life, you have to heal your life. If you want to
cure anyone - even a mentally ill criminal - you do it by healing you.

I asked Dr. Len how he went about healing himself. What was he doing,
exactly, when he looked at those patients' files?

"I just kept saying, 'I'm sorry' and 'I love you' over and over again," he
explained.

That's it?

That's it.

Turns out that loving yourself is the greatest way to improve yourself, and
as you improve yourself, you improve your world. Let me give you a quick
example of how this works: one day, someone sent me an email that upset me.
In the past I would have handled it by working on my emotional hot buttons
or by trying to reason with the person who sent the nasty message. This
time, I decided to try Dr. Len's method. I kept silently saying, "I'm sorry"
and "I love you," I didn't say it to anyone in particular. I was simply
evoking the spirit of love to heal within me what was creating the outer
circumstance.

Within an hour I got an e-mail from the same person. He apologized for his
previous message. Keep in mind that I didn't take any outward action to get
that apology. I didn't even write him back. Yet, by saying "I love you," I
somehow healed within me what was creating him.

I later attended a ho 'oponopono workshop run by Dr. Len. He's now 70 years
old, considered a grandfatherly man, and is somewhat reclusive. He praised
my book, The Attractor Factor. He told me that as I improve myself, my
book's vibration will raise, and everyone will feel it when they read it. In
short, as I improve, my readers will improve.

"What about the books that are already sold and out there?" I asked.

"They aren't out there," he explained, once again blowing my mind with his
mystic wisdom. "They are still in you."

In short, there is no out there.

It would take a whole book to explain this advanced technique with the depth
it deserves. Suffice it to say that whenever you want to improve anything in
your life, there's only one place to look: inside you.

"When you look, do it with love."

Note: This article is from the book Zero Limits by Dr. Joe Vitale and Dr.
Len, which you can order here. You can also listen to Joe talk about his
experience with Dr. Len and his involvement with the inspiring movie, The
Secret, by clicking here. He starts talking about Dr. Len at minute 17:30 in
this highly engaging one-hour interview.

Dr. Len's message may be quite hard to believe, yet it's amazingly simple.
He states that we are all responsible for everything that we see in our
world. By taking full personal responsibility and then healing the wounded
places within ourselves, we can literally heal ourselves and our world. As
related by Joe Vitale in the radio interview, Dr. Len suggests a four-stage
process for this work. Whenever a place for healing presents itself in your
life, open to the place where the hurt resides within you, and say and feel
as much as possible the below four sentences:

   a.. I love you.
   b.. I'm sorry.
   c.. Please forgive me.
   d.. Thank you.
For several inspiring articles on this process from Dr. Len's website, click
on the "Articles" tag at his website, http://hooponopono.org/. I invite you
even if you are skeptical to try out this simple healing method and see what
happens. I have found it to be incredibly profound in my own life. Thanks
for taking the time to read this story and may your life be continually
blessed with healing and miracles.

************************************************************************************
"It's easier to get enlightenment than to explain enlightenment"
                     ~~Supreme Master Chaing Hai~~
Rev. Sandi Lee, M.Msc.
www.divine-love.com

[185nd9mbznww4]

most of the time it's not even the fact that people can't handle it. for me, it's more that i understand the power of silence........ and i don't know why it's funny that some people don't enter debate. debates should have a productive goal. it isn't a productive debate unless both sides learn something. arguments that are created just to lift one's ego aren't going to help, they will defeat the purpose. growing from the other side is the final consequence of debate. and when one finally swallows that, they will know when are or when they aren't in a position to have an ego!!! soo basically the way i see it, most people are just treading in mud, not learning, just plainly being.....

[19jpc7js1nj55]

" Debates should have a productive goal. It isn't a productive debate unless both sides learn something. Arguments that are created just to lift one's ego aren't going to help, they will defeat the purpose. Most people are just treading in mud, not learning, just plainly being" - SoluS s0ul

 

I agree!

[2i3zz31iz74ww]

I have learned that when someone does make a comment that pushes your anger buttons it is best to express your disagreement in a private message. I have already done this here to no ill effect. I got into a running "comment battle" with someone on another site a while back that got out of hand and I finally left the site. I learned from this it is NOT VERY NICE to "put people in their place" (whether they deserve it or not) in a public forum. I still have very strong opinions, I just have learned to check the urge to publicly flog someone into submission with them.

[Leila Raven]

very good point, there is no reason to make a personal conflict you have with someone a public matter. It will absolutely bring out the most defensive response in someone else, as they may feel no option but to defend their reputation, rather than focusing as much energy as resolving the issue.

The best way to deal with someone you have a problem with is not to create drama and conflict for the whole website, but to deal with it personally. If you cannot deal with it personally, through private conversation, blocking and ignoring another member if needed. Then, ideally it should be brought to the attention of one of the administration team or myself. So we can investigate the issue.

 

[185nd9mbznww4]

i <3 your wisdom. you send good vibrations into our waves to settle the sites flow very well.

[Leila Raven]

thank you, I do my best. *smile*