WARNING! There will be people on this site you do NOT like.

[Leila Raven]

In fact, unless you have the compassion, empathy, heart and mind of a saint, as the site grows I can pretty much guarantee it.

There will be those people here. Those people you try so desperately to avoid. Those people that grate on your nerves. Those people that believe in *that* stuff, you know, maybe it's the scary stuff, or maybe it's fluffy bunny stuff. Maybe it's not what they believe, but how they shove it down your throat. Or so it seems. Or maybe it's that they just seem to know it all, and they're SO wrong. You know THOSE people.

Well guess what, we're all one of those people. All of us come off the wrong way to someone sometime. Yeah, we might whine in our heads, but we know better. I'm really a NICE person, a SMART person, a RIGHT person. My intentions are all in the right place. Well guess what, we're all one of those people too.

Ayup.

There will be people here that will use words you don't like, and find offensive.

There will be people here that have beliefs and practices, that you find disturbing, upsetting, or maybe silly, stupid, or trivial. All of us, will have SOME negative assumptions about someone on this site.

Bottom line, we are all who we are.

If we want the freedom to be ourselves, we must extend that freedom to others.

If we want to be respected for our own choices, faiths, ideas, beliefs, we have to extend it to others.

What then to do with those individuals that rub many people the wrong way? Who are more extreme on the edge of a more out there belief, or method of expressing themselves that they disrupt a lot of people a lot of the time. I'm not sure honestly how I will deal with individuals that may really push this sites members buttons.

My first line of approach is trying to work toward an inclusive solution. Bring resolution and positive change without excluding someone. I would like to make removing someone from this site a really last resort.

There are people who thrive on conflict, and conflict is also often a positive part of people who are going through periods of growth and change. Overcoming conflicts. Learning how to resolve conflict. As well as learning how to communicate with others effectively and to co-operate with others, is one of the most meaningful things we can do actually in terms of our self growth and development.

You can use conflict with others on this site as catalysts for positive growth and change, for yourself, and for others. You can choose to try to change what you can change, not that other person, but yourself. You can choose to try to expand your empathy and compassion. You can make an effort to try harder to understand why that other person is who they are, believes what they believe, and feels how they feel, or expresses themselves how they do. All of us have baggage, history, triggers, brainwashing, etc, to overcome. All of us. We are all the walking wounded. If you want a less judgemental more compassionate world. WE have to co-create it.

We can start co-creating it here.

Defuse conflict, keep conflict to places where people who want to embrace it only can, and not impose our conflict onto others who do not want to be a part of it. Recognize trolling behaviours and people who feed on negative energy, or are addicted, literally to the adrenaline rush of the 'fight' or flight response, and just like a good fight (yup, some do, let them fight with others that like to do battle, and if your the pacifist type like me, learn to walk away). I have a tendency as a pacifist to want to repress or smooth over conflict, perhaps more than is ultimately healthy. Really, who gets to decide? and maybe what is healthy for one person isn't the same for another...

I know you're all intelligent enough to really get what I'm saying here.

Conflict will happen, be ready for it, focus not on what I can do as a site owner to fix it for you, or what the other person has to do to stop bothering you, and focus on the only change that really matters, the one you can bring with you off site and everywhere you go. Learn your own personal way of dealing with it, create strategies and plans for self for sharing spiritual space with a diverse group of people.

This place will have a lot of freedom, for many people, that may feel like a lack of 'security', that lack of security, is not coming from the site, that feeling of insecurity, is a feeling, and it comes from within you, and only you, can address it. You can avoid it, or you can understand it, and control it, rather than letting it control you.

Leila

[10yziazo00smf]

wow awesome and heartfelt clear and true :) (are you disabled?)(your body that is)

 

hey Leila checkout my feeling on the Libyan crisis, http://www.wix.com/danny108/Gigglesafi/

[2m5qjx78m7no4]

 

How true.....  We are what we are; and it is what it is....Each to their own and Live and Let Live!

[2dosmsxgfpa0m]

I write what is in my mind and in my heart. I accpet all comments and remarks, even if they hurt me. I try to understand why? If there is no way to undestand each other, no importance. Each person have his reasons to think in" his proper way". If I tell things with love truth and sincerity it can be seen by others. It's their problem if they don't see and respect it.

[10yziazo00smf]

Yes no two souls are the same, no two parts are the same, we are all on different journeys into the unknown, in fact we came alone as a star of light and will leave again as stars of light

[2914ywxbv5p54]

Wonderfully said, Leila.

This post is what made me decide to join this site. I've seen too many places which tend to coddle the majority and I think it cripples experience and learning. I have learned some of my most valuable lessons from the most difficult people and I've had an occasion or two of being rather difficult myself.

[3erkr3x6d4zja]

Very cool  :)

 

I am glad to be one of the people here!

hehe

[Leila Raven]

Sadly we just had someone leave and cite their reason as anti-semitism in the forums. This pains me, because this site is supposed to be about equality, tolerance, and respect. So obviously does not support racist or anti-Semitic views. However it's impossible for me and the moderators to police everything everyone says all the time... not only that... but I'm unsure how we can overcome issues of intolerance if we cannot have a dialogue around it. My approach is not one to quickly ban people, but to try to take opportunities for education and positive growth. We cannot change what we are not willing to work with. If we alienate ourselves from those whose views upset us, we have no opportunity to create change.

Yes if someone seems unable to communicate in a respectful way and is a continual disruptive force, then I may have to suspend them from the site, but for the most part I ask people to try to challenge themselves to find more effective ways of dealing with the people and the issues that are disturbing in this world and see if we can shed some light into those darker places.

It can be hard to have respect and compassion for those who seem to have none for others... but challenging oneself to find a way to maintain respect and compassion for even those we may see as our 'enemies' is one of the ways we can move forward and find ways to educate and resolve differences rather than succumb to or run from conflict.

[3q31ysrgkm1nt]

Everyone has varying degrees of sensitivity.  Some people are not phased by word phrases while other people become very offended easily.  We are a site that has many of its members that are outside the 'norm' of faiths even if we feel its very normal.  Sometimes the best thing we can do is to try and diffuse the feelings, but it doesn't mean some people won't find misunderstanding.  The key is to speak up if you do not agree, but to do it in a way that doesn't inflame and that even isn't always the easiest thing to do.  If your words are not respected then time to contact a moderator to help diffuse it. 

 

A lot of times we seek sites like this as a sanctuary to escape the every day world.  To find a place where we can understand that we have a purpose other than just the daily run around we have in life.  Sometimes, there will be people that come into this site to shake it up a bit.  I think that we as a group can handle those that come in if we all work together to keep this place as a group we want to be with.

 

I am sorry to hear a person has left under those circumstances, we just have to keep our chin up.. look forward and welcome everyone that comes in.  You never know what treasures they will bring :)

[Grigori Rho Gharveyn]

We fall in love with everyone we meet...

 ...but certain people just sweep us off our feet...

 

We find that every person is a lovable person, with no exceptions.

What comes into conflict are not our true selves but our socially conditioned defense mechanisms. 

Some people's defense mechanisms are hyper-reactive, these people are in a constant state of fear.  Typically they torment themselves with self-abuse emotionally, intellectually, socially, and spiritually.

Those who offend us the most are those most begging us to show them grace, mercy, compassion, love, nurture, and respect.  They need to heal and we need to heal.

By coming together around our differences, setting our differences aside, we can help each other heal.

Anyone who attacks anyone is frightened, we must respect their fear and not provoke them too much.  We must be gentle and give them time to learn to trust.

 

Blessed be...

 

[Leila Raven]

I just get sad when they run away all of a suddens.. and take their toys, and go home or go play somewhere else.. I'm just a big sensitive kid in the big playground of life... lol.

[Grigori Rho Gharveyn]

Fear is afraid of love...

[37k5peu2ugi2s]

IT IS OPPISITE...I BROKE MY SPELLER 8(