I'm sitting here, my thoughts running 50,000 miles per hour and in every which way and direction it can go. My thoughts keep cycling, from one thought to another to another as if someone has a remote control and switching my thoughts like one would on a TV. I have this itch to write something, but considering I keep cycling in my thoughts, I don't know where to begin. When I force a pause in my mind, I draw a blank. Yep.. I sit here staring at a piece of paper and nothing comes to mind. So I allow my mind to continue forward with it's thoughts and my head fills up once again. Still my thoughts can't seem to settle on one idea alone.
Every thought feels like pancake stacked one on top of another infinitely high. Where to begin? Which layer to tackle? Where to start sorting? Why a million thoughts all at once. Why the cycling? See? the randomness of thoughts can make it very difficult to focus just on one thing. So again, I stare at the blank word document with the tiny flashing cursor waiting for me to input my very first word. In a trance like state, the white background fades away as my mind reveals images, feelings, intents, movement. Faces flash, places merge, voices speak, colors swirl. It's all very chaotic within my mind. But I need to write something.. something to help all these thoughts flow out of me into something tangible with worth and meaning.
Alas I'm failing miserably to the point of desperation that I end up babbling incoherently upon a blog where I was trying to find something meaningful to say. Oh look woodpecker at my door looking for something to eat. Shy little one staring at me wondering if I'm going to stand up. Oh he doesn't like me to watch, I can tell, but always checking on me to make sure I'm not doing something that will cause him to fly off. Shy he maybe, this gila woodpecker, but loud as well. Anyways.. back to my thoughts.
What thoughts? or better yet.. which one? Hmmm... ever have those moments where you just can't decide where to begin?
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