Reminder to control my anger

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     Ever had one of those moments when everything just snowballs out of control?  Things begin to feel like you have just been involved in a 40 car pile up?  Well that was me on New Years Eve.  One thing after another began to go wrong and it just snowballed into a train wreck.  Those I hear begin to say, "Control your anger!" So why would I have to control my anger?  Oh the injustice of it all!  Don't they see everything is going wrong?  I mean come on.. its new years eve and everything is on a collision course!  Not fair!

     Well that is just what happened, hence for the really important lesson for me.  The day started out normal enough except that I had to work that night.  I spent time putting away the holiday decorations and cleaning up the house.  Got ready for work and readied to leave.  That is when the whole thing when.. *screeetch! crash and burn......*  I lost my keys.  In a panic I am hunting for them and I suddenly wonder if I threw them away accidentally or packed them away in the boxes of decorations!  I search and search growing more panicked as time ticked away.  I was going to be late!  Finally after an unbearable half hour I find my keys outside in the most obvious spot on my porch.  Go figure!  So I grabbed my things and race out the door.  Get in the car and head towards work. 

    Several miles down the highway I realize I forgot my phone! crap... I need that since my job depends on it constantly.  So as I yelling in my car "It's not fair!"  I feel my aggravation growing exponentially.  Which often is a really bad thing for me.  But do I listen to the voices in my head?  Nooooo... I'm too busy in self wallowing to pay attention.  I get back to my house and right as I rolled down my window, saying if one more thing goes wrong I'm going to snap... and right at that moment I hear *SNAP*, the window breaks, it will not roll up as the gear inside breaks.  I sink into a puddle of tears and I get home.... Why me!!!!  And how on earth am I going to pay to fix the window!

     Needless to say I made it to work only 15 minutes late as I borrowed my ex's car.  On my way, I kept hearing the soothing sounds to calm down and to remember I must control my anger.  I realized that the window breaking was my fault.

     I seem to have this issue.. when I get really angry or emotional... things tend to break.  I don't have to touch anything they just break.  Usually it's light bulbs blowing out or I short out circuits.  But this time it appears my anger broke the gear box that rolls up and down the window in my car.  It's an electronic, I guess it's fair game.  Darn it, I really wanted to blame something else, but guides can be stubborn and point to my anger and things breaking.

    So my lesson.  Control my anger.  It's not that I can't get angry or upset.  But that I have to find a constructive outlet for that pent up frustration, since it seems I have a physical effect upon my surroundings.  And then I'm left to fix what I break.