WARNING! There will be people on this site you do NOT like.

[Leila Raven]

In fact, unless you have the compassion, empathy, heart and mind of a saint, as the site grows I can pretty much guarantee it.

There will be those people here. Those people you try so desperately to avoid. Those people that grate on your nerves. Those people that believe in *that* stuff, you know, maybe it's the scary stuff, or maybe it's fluffy bunny stuff. Maybe it's not what they believe, but how they shove it down your throat. Or so it seems. Or maybe it's that they just seem to know it all, and they're SO wrong. You know THOSE people.

Well guess what, we're all one of those people. All of us come off the wrong way to someone sometime. Yeah, we might whine in our heads, but we know better. I'm really a NICE person, a SMART person, a RIGHT person. My intentions are all in the right place. Well guess what, we're all one of those people too.

Ayup.

There will be people here that will use words you don't like, and find offensive.

There will be people here that have beliefs and practices, that you find disturbing, upsetting, or maybe silly, stupid, or trivial. All of us, will have SOME negative assumptions about someone on this site.

Bottom line, we are all who we are.

If we want the freedom to be ourselves, we must extend that freedom to others.

If we want to be respected for our own choices, faiths, ideas, beliefs, we have to extend it to others.

What then to do with those individuals that rub many people the wrong way? Who are more extreme on the edge of a more out there belief, or method of expressing themselves that they disrupt a lot of people a lot of the time. I'm not sure honestly how I will deal with individuals that may really push this sites members buttons.

My first line of approach is trying to work toward an inclusive solution. Bring resolution and positive change without excluding someone. I would like to make removing someone from this site a really last resort.

There are people who thrive on conflict, and conflict is also often a positive part of people who are going through periods of growth and change. Overcoming conflicts. Learning how to resolve conflict. As well as learning how to communicate with others effectively and to co-operate with others, is one of the most meaningful things we can do actually in terms of our self growth and development.

You can use conflict with others on this site as catalysts for positive growth and change, for yourself, and for others. You can choose to try to change what you can change, not that other person, but yourself. You can choose to try to expand your empathy and compassion. You can make an effort to try harder to understand why that other person is who they are, believes what they believe, and feels how they feel, or expresses themselves how they do. All of us have baggage, history, triggers, brainwashing, etc, to overcome. All of us. We are all the walking wounded. If you want a less judgemental more compassionate world. WE have to co-create it.

We can start co-creating it here.

Defuse conflict, keep conflict to places where people who want to embrace it only can, and not impose our conflict onto others who do not want to be a part of it. Recognize trolling behaviours and people who feed on negative energy, or are addicted, literally to the adrenaline rush of the 'fight' or flight response, and just like a good fight (yup, some do, let them fight with others that like to do battle, and if your the pacifist type like me, learn to walk away). I have a tendency as a pacifist to want to repress or smooth over conflict, perhaps more than is ultimately healthy. Really, who gets to decide? and maybe what is healthy for one person isn't the same for another...

I know you're all intelligent enough to really get what I'm saying here.

Conflict will happen, be ready for it, focus not on what I can do as a site owner to fix it for you, or what the other person has to do to stop bothering you, and focus on the only change that really matters, the one you can bring with you off site and everywhere you go. Learn your own personal way of dealing with it, create strategies and plans for self for sharing spiritual space with a diverse group of people.

This place will have a lot of freedom, for many people, that may feel like a lack of 'security', that lack of security, is not coming from the site, that feeling of insecurity, is a feeling, and it comes from within you, and only you, can address it. You can avoid it, or you can understand it, and control it, rather than letting it control you.

Leila

[Grigori Rho Gharveyn]

Domm we agree,

If a complaint arose form the pages owner, then they can just remove the offending material themselves.

It they have to do this several times they might ask an admin for help, tactfully, but if they turn troll then they perhaps they already deserved whatever they got...

What a good admin should look for is long-term patterns of abuse against individuals, not single incidents that may attack someone's beliefs in a manner many will regard as more humorous than serious...

If we see someone systematically attacked we may give aid and compassion without becoming hostile or confrontational.

 

Domm thanks for pointing this out.

Blessed be...

 

[Grigori Rho Gharveyn]

ROFL while still understanding both sides... <head hurts>

 

Ok, its a good thing we are a multiple because its tearing us apart to see this both ways, and being a multiple makes it easier to get behind all of this and not take sides...

 

Vlada, we totally love that description of Chrisitanity, we cannot believe Leila agrees with Acharya, but we've been known to be wrong at least once...

As nearly as we understand, this is an open community, we have free speech, even the right to offensive speech, though most people limit their use of offensive speech here appropriately enough to maintain a healthy community atmosphere...

In particular, Leila appears to be an advocate for transparency, so we doubt she would approve of anything resembling censorship.

Nonetheless, when someone makes a mistake, we don't hit them over the head, we work with them to help them develop the skills they need to avoid similar mistakes in the future...

We would regard Acharya's response as a mistake made with good intentions.

Archarya could have handled the entiere matter far more tactfully.

We would bet Leila is trying to salvage this situation by helping both of you through your issues here.

Vlada, we love your spirit, you express yourself with a flair and abandon that is very refreshing.

Acharya is virtually unknown to us, so we won't judge them on your say-so or anyone else's.

Admin responsibilities are difficult to learn and master, so when we can help a potentially great admin such as Acharya become a better admin we all benefit.

How do we know Acharya must be a potentially great admin?  Leila chose them to help out.

'nuff said!

 

Love ya to death and back again Vlada...

Enjoy!

 

[2r9rxfbf3uni9]

Now now children, remember...sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.  :o)

[19jpc7js1nj55]

@Indra

Perhaps for you. Words can hurt and can repulse me. I have been shown much disrespect by words. Where I see ones true character. Some words can be looked past with forgiveness and a sense of one changeing there character and manner. Yet the same behaviour showing much disrespect and immatureity leaves someone to be dead to me. I won't put up with such. Words are actions. Actions speak loud. Verbal abuse and verbal hate crime has a depth of effecting the core of one. I will stand my ground and defend myself when such is done. May those reap what they sow.

I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts. ~John Locke

Between saying and doing many a pair of shoes is worn out. ~Italian Proverb

All know the way; few actually walk it. ~Bodhidharma

Example is the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other. ~Edmund Burke

[Leila Raven]

I agree, words are powerful. They transfer energy. We are influenced and affected by words on all levels... of course it is a two part dance, what the words are meant to convey and what the words are interpreted to mean, which can be the same or two different things.

Words can hurt others, and they can hurt us. They reflect us, what words we put out there in the world influence how other see us. When someone uses hurtful words in regards to others, they not only hurt other potentially, but definitely hurt themselves, as many will see those words more as reflection of who they are, than who they are making a statement about.

 

[Grigori Rho Gharveyn]

When someone feels hurt by another person's words, we feel their pain with them.

Empathy compells us, in our own self-interest, to help heal the wounds that any other feels.

Thus we prefer to avoid hurting anyone with our words.

However, as a writer we know that many people are looking for healing, and that if we do not touch upon their pain with our words we cannot help them learn how to heal their pain for themselves.

We therefore regard all writing as a sacred duty to self and to all oithers.

We are an adept of social conditoning and mind control who seeeks to help all people mediate their own socially conditioned self-desructive, self-abusive tendencies, to help them learn to use love, compassion, nurture, and respect to heal themselves.

We must have the same love, compassion, nurture, and respect for all parties in any painful event.

Our capacities to self-harm or to self-sabatoge acts through the law of attraction to attract someone who will help us act out our inner ambivelance or hatred of ourselves.

We psychologically project our fears and self-loathing regarding ourselves into our environments and experience being hurt as a result.

When we learn how we manifest our own pain we learn how to stop manifesting more pain, we learn to heal and we learn to live in greater joy and comfort.

So anyone who hurts us helps us heal if we examine our own roles in how we allowed ourselves to be hurt and why we chose to manifest being hurt as a result of socially conditioned beliefs about ourselves that were nonconsciously instructing us to harm ourselves.

Learning how we choose to harm ourselves deliberately or inadvertently as a consequence of our social conditioning develops an empowering belief system that focuses on individual choice and awareness to enable self-healing, self-love, and self-mastery.

This is part of how enlightenment sciences work.

 

Blessed be...

 

[Leila Raven]

Indeed.

[1lcso7wqe0mg3]

hello-

We write to each other, without the benefit of facial expressions, vocal fluxuations, and eye contact. Without those things lots of things can get 'lost in translation' .

 

Thank you all.

[1lcso7wqe0mg3]

     Yes, we talk write to each other and I never know how someone else miles away will take what I am writing. I sometimes censor myself because of fear. I am in my own town fairly misunderstood, but then I think about mother teresa who said "to understand, rather than be understood." or something like that.... 

     From what I see you are doing exactly what indigos do, and they do it with love. I think about the people on this website and I read stories of hope, love and triumph and it inspires me.

thank you

[1lcso7wqe0mg3]

"Dont censor your souls ability to fly in pure White Light,instead Embrace the Darkness for without Darkness their cannot be Light thus total balance." 

Yes the censorship of oneself, is when the throat chakra closes down and our vital truths of our heart/soul are not spoken creating misery.....Thank you

[2914ywxbv5p54]

This is what I try to do also; remove Self, if I feel an ouch moment, try not to assume anything and ask for clarification.

 

I try to be very clear when I post anything and stay away from the computer of I am feeling particularly sensitive or confrontational. =}

[2914ywxbv5p54]

Well said.

 

One of the things I've had to learn is to temper my honesty with compassion. As a child I was brutally honest with no intention of hurting, yet hurt I did because regardless my intent, it was the receiver's perception which facilitated hurt or lack thereof.

 

I learned as long as I stepped forward with compassion, I could maintain my honesty and create an environment which fosters communication.

 

Though I do not thrive on it, I am not afraid of confrontation but, over the last 15 years or so, I've also learned to let things go. To evaluate the importance of an issue and the probable possibility of making a difference through confrontation.

 

That being said, I'll admit my Warrior has her moments where she pushes Healer out of the way, brandishes her sword and has her say.