Soul Mates and Twin Flames, What Are They Really?

[Grigori Rho Gharveyn]

Many of us have had a distinct experience when meeting someone for the first time, that makes us feel we are inexplicably, perhaps incontrovertibly somehow connected with our new acquaintance deep within our souls.  We may believe this new person is our soul mate or our twin flame.  But what are our soul mates or twin flames really?  Can we truly be linked to another spirit and destined to meet one another in many different incarnations?  Were we somehow made for one another by a divine creator who provides for all of us someone special with whom we may share our lives?

 

 

Soul Mates and Twin Flames, What Are They Really?

 

Like many spiritual beliefs, our concepts of twin flames or soul mates are often predicated upon deep spiritual experiences for which there are too often no adequate words.

We use metaphors to try to describe such experiences until these experiences begin to become so commonplace in our cultures that new words evolve to more accurately describe our experiences.  Sometimes these metaphors may stick like glue and we may come to accept our metaphors as literal descriptions when in fact our metaphors may still fall far very short of being valid descriptions of our experiences.

While it is undeniably true that many of us have experiences in which we recognize another soul with whom we are intimately connected in some inexplicable way, perhaps we should examine the metaphors we use to describe these experiences to shed some light on what may really be going on.

Metaphors are used to apply terms for past experiences which we may feel we understand to new experiences which we have no proper concepts for.  Without clearly understood concepts for our new experiences we may have no words with which to accurately describe our new experiences, so we must resort to using poetic metaphors.

However, metaphors are only an approximate likeness between two experiences using words which will usually accurately describe our familiar experiences but which will, sometimes at best, provide only a reasonably close ‘as-if’ description of our new experiences.

So when we meet someone with whom we feel we share a common past or destiny we search for a way to explain this feeling and our culture has developed the concepts of soul mates and twin flames to accommodate our need for words to describe how we feel.

Our metaphors of our soul mates and twin flames come from our real experiences with having partners in life, our mates, or having known someone with a twin, a biological condition.  Both indicate a degree of relatedness that is above and beyond the way we appear to be related to most other people in our lives and that is the essence of what we are trying to express when we find someone with whom we resonate or communicate with on deepest levels of our souls.

Neither marriage nor twins may have any real meaning in regard to our spirits, so the popular concepts of soul mates and twin flames may be off the mark in the context of the spiritual realities of our souls.  We may have wonderful people in our lives with whom we are deeply connected, with whom we may have a great affinity in the context of our spiritual lives, beyond the limits of our incarnations, however, they may not be our twins or mates, but something other for which we have not yet found adequate words to accurately describe these very special relationships.

Marriage is a societal convention, mates are temporary phenomena, the lives of our eternal souls in the spirit world may have vastly different social conventions; we may have many mates all of whom are special to us each in their own unique ways but none of whom we may be mated with or married to in any sense that might necessarily be exclusive of anyone else.

Likewise, the special people with whom we share our incredibly intimate bonds may not be related to us in the manner of twins.

While our our spirits may, possibly all share the same womb from which they were born, the same source, we might possibly not be twins in the familiar sense, or in any manner that may be considered special, since in the ultimate sense, in Unity, we must then all be twins to one another including every other spirit in creation, if indeed all of our souls arise from a single source as may seem necessary to be the case.

However, there are considerations which may make the concepts of soul mates and spiritual twins very valid metaphors for our experiences of being deeply, thoroughly connected with another person’s soul.

Perhaps our souls have indeed somehow divided themselves and our souls have thereby created an independent twin or a soul mate.  This is one explanation for twin flames, twin souls, or twin spirits that might make ‘twin flames’ a potent, valid metaphor for experiences of meeting an exceptionally special person, someone with whom we are intimate beyond our abilities to fathom in any conventional terms.

When we examine the beginning of creation, at the time our souls are created, we do not see any of us in the roles of twins or mates.  So if soul mates or twin flames truly exist then perhaps they must come much later.

Another possibility is that all souls are indeed created with twins, as many people sincerely believe, but that we do not see the twins in our observable universes because they may be something like anti-matter in completely separate anti-matter universes.

If twins do emerge later, then that would make them a different order of being from what we might then call our primary souls; those infinite sparks cast forth in the first moment of creation.  Each of our primary souls resembles a hologram, such that every individual spirit contains identical replicas or avatars of all other spirits within themselves.

If we each do indeed become divided to become two separate, specially related souls, we might then really be twin spirits of sorts, but we think we would no longer be the primary soul from which our twins originally emerged, even though each of the twin souls we have become has its origin in a pre-existing more unified state of our soul, each holographically identical with the ‘original’.

We cannot say if the process of a primary soul dividing into twins is inherently limited to one generation, or whether each twin in subsequent generations may be divided as well; however, we believe this to be the case.

We strongly suspect that such processes of division may be carried out indefinitely, each reproduction of a single entity in any generation then creating two holographically identical clones; these reproductions appear like spiritual fractals where the largest scale merges mysteriously with the smallest scale at infinity, in a sort of closed loop of infinitely nested sets of infinities described in perhaps four dimensions, phases, or families.

Another possibility would be that twin flames or soul mates may simply have shared many experiences together over many different incarnations or have always remained close to one another throughout most of their experiences in the spiritual worlds of our souls.

Soul mates are sometimes described as being paired opposites, however opposites may often be a poor term to describe this state of connectedness since opposites appears to exclude examples where many partners who are 'soul mates' may be very much alike.

Philosophies regarding twin flames or soul mates are often predicated upon a belief that god provided for every one of us a perfect mate.

However, if so, then why is finding that perfect mate so difficult?  Has god created our perfect mate only to challenge us to find them?  We doubt that it is like that, we do not believe god is deliberately perverse like that.

On the other hand, perhaps this is a sort of training exercise to get us to learn how to use our spiritual senses and abilities…

We believe that all people begin in an identical state or condition, but that we each may individually evolve into whatever we may choose to become.

We believe popular concepts of twin flames or soul mates may be far too limiting in regard to the potential scope of our relatedness and our love for these special people who appear in our lives; we believe that we may really be meant to love everyone, everywhere, eternally and unconditionally.

We are pretty sure that we are not meant to cling to only one special soul throughout every, and all, eternities.

Of course we may be mistaken; these are only our own guided thoughts on the matter; our positions regarding these matters have already changed over the past four years as we have considered these questions much more carefully over time.

We began to receive ‘real-life’ lessons about twin flames and soul mates immediately after arguing that these may not really exist.

We believe we may know better now, we live two with incarnate soul mates and our twin flame whom we knew as Alina, before she died in January of 1977.

One issue we have with the concepts of soul mates and spiritual twins is that they appear to be partly or entirely predicated upon cognitive process of duality depending on your points of views.

Ultimately, as we see it, duality is an illusion imposed upon us by our limited abilities to think clearly.  We do not think that duality applies to who we are as spirits in the most primal sense of our souls’ origins.  Duality appears to be only a cognitive tool with which to analyze our thoughts and experiences something like turning up the contrast knob on a TV, so that our conscious minds can develop useful terms with which to describe our experiences.

Regardless of the validity of the metaphors we use to describe the sweet experiences we have of meeting someone with whom we may feel we have shared eternity, many of us most definitely connect in a very unique and intimate manner with some very special person, in our lives, possibly with many, many such special people.

Those people with whom we ‘click’ in this extraordinary manner often become pivotal people in transforming our lives for the better so that we help one another to grow and to evolve as more loving, nurturing, compassionate human beings.

If you are lucky enough to believe you have found a soul mate or your twin flame then perhaps you should go for broke.

The person whom you have found may indeed reflect and share a mutual belief in your deep, eternal union and prove to be a loving partner or a deeply cherished friend well worth knowing and loving and keeping close to you in your present incarnation on earth.

 

Blessed be

Namaste

 

[0s5i6ga6ttcwi]

I heave seen it explained in the past that a soul mate is someone with whom we have a strong past life connection. Towards this end, just because someone is connected in this way it does not automatically follow that we are meant to be with them in this lifetime. Indeed, it may be that the previous connection was unhealthy and our task in this lifetime is to severe that connection.

 

 

 

 

[Grigori Rho Gharveyn]

Agreed Maedrona,

Many people can cripple themselves with their beliefs about their soul mates or twin flames, causing themselves a lot of pain and suffering.  Our next article in this series will try to address how our popular paradigms about soul mates and twin flames can be used to hurt ourselves.

 

Blessed be...

 

[28zsuykthvw2l]

Interesting ideas Grigori, once again thank you for sharing your thoughts on a fascinating concept.

 

The belief that resonates well with me is that between our incarnations, our souls are in groups (or classes, if you will) where we explore various lessons we have learnt in our lives, and piece experiences together for greater knowledge and understanding.  Our soul groups may then choose to incarnate together to further experience various dilemmas, or life-lessons, and the roles we choose in this will vary.  So perhaps in some lives the same soul will be my mother, and another time I hers.  Over time, many lifetimes, our group may change to best suit our learning needs.  Not that some souls ‘progress’ faster (this is the incorrect word to use) but rather we develop in different ways, or may wish to concentrate on different paths (healing, creation etc) which lead us to join with other soul groups who are exploring these themes.  And so many souls you encounter in life may seem familiar and you share a deep resonation with them.

 

As for one single “soul mate”, or “twin flame”, I believe this is possible.  There may be another soul with whom one particularly works well with in human form.  Maybe you frequently plan to incarnate into lives that you know will cross so that you can be together and work on life’s lessons together.  I also think that you may choose to deliberately not incarnate together, so that you explore a different lesson – perhaps one about acceptance.   This being the case, your ‘soul mate’ is not always the person you commit to under the society convention of marriage, but they may be the person who challenges you, or pushes your buttons in another way (which you may not always view as favourable at the time!).  We may choose a life designed to aid our soul mate (and other members of our soul group) because our love for them is so strong that we want to be here to help – but this doesn’t always imply a sexual union.  I also believe that your ‘soul mate’ can change, as we change and grow, but the love never changes, the “mate” it is perhaps just a transitory state of being at the same point of development.  Remember in school when you had to ‘team up’ with another person to work on a project together?  Almost like that, only with a far deeper connection and understanding of one another’s abilities and talents.

[Grigori Rho Gharveyn]

We are tempted to tear hair out Felias, our longish reply to you has disappeared!  Perhaps it will spontaneously return as mysteriously as it has just now vanished, perhaps it has found its way to the great bit-bucket in the sky...

Short reply:

We are a 'team' with Alina; it may be the case that it was necessary for Alina to die to make our team more functional.  According to Alina, in worlds where she is still alive, we were the one who killed ourselves.

We have seen the truth of this for ourselves now.

We have had an extraordinary relationship with Alina, one that might never have gotten us to first base had she not died and become our incentive to challenge all of our beliefs about life and death in order to pursuit her in her afterlife until we could learn more, until we could learn how to resurrect her...

 

Namaste

 

[Grigori Rho Gharveyn]

Hi Solarion,

it looks as if you have given this matter some thought, we like the ideas you present regarding soul families and clans.  We may get around to discussing those in more detail.  We certainly feel we have found a possible soul mate with you.

 

Blessed be...

 

[02zz3ylh8djat]

Okay well I had my turn at the whole life mate, soul mate thing. We dated for about 6 months then he proposed to me at my senior prom infront of my school and we believed truley we were soul mates. 3 months later he tells me that he lied to me and he never loved me or believed in the soule mate thing and that he wanted his slutty ex-girlfriend back. So he left me for her. So needless to say im not too sure what to think about that anymore. Hewas the love of my life. Its been almost a year now and I still hurt and kinda worried if I am willing to put myself back into a relationship like that. Ya know that gets serious like that. Cuz they could be just him and leave me. Everyone seems too now adays

 

[Grigori Rho Gharveyn]

Hi sister Silver Phoenix,

Your story is a common problem due to our cultural paradigms about true loves, twin flames, and soul mates.  Anyone who learns these paradigms may use them against anyone inexperienced with them.

It doesn't matter if someone scarcely knows more than you about these things, all they need to do is get you to talk about your belief systems and pretend to support them.

It is possible he made a genuine soul mate connection with you, but later found it an inconvenience.

It is even possible he may be your twin flame; we don't know, and would never tell you, that is something only you can decide for yourself. 

There is a very good chance that anyone trying to tell you what to believe is trying to scam you.

What you choose to believe, of course, is always up to you.

Always.

There are no higher authorities in the affairs of your own life than you.

None.

First thing that we might recomend you should choose to believe is that regardless of his cavalier treatment, you deserve to be treated very well, much better than this.

Second thing we might recommend, is that you choose to remember the love you felt with this guy as well as is possible for you because even though you may go on to love many, many people, every love experience is important, and the love is always eternal, even if it sometimes seems to fade away in this temporal world or abruptly disappear.

Concommitent with this advice is the advice about letting go of any lingering anger, hatred, resentment, etc.

All these sorts of emotions can do for you is cripple you, they are worthless to hold onto, worse than worthless, they can help you learn to hate yourself and can lead you to feel suicidal even if you have a very strong spiritual nature.

When we express any sort of hostility, anger, resentment, or even pain, we do more harm to ourselves, we make ourselves suffer more; this is one reason letting go of these emotions is so important.  We are uncertain whether these things are troubling you now, but such feelings are a typical part of the pattern we see in situations like your own.

Love yourself, show everyone you love how much you love them, use love to heal yourself, by nurtuing yourself with healthy habits.  Respect your choices, even your bad ones, because when you shy away from accepting responsibility for your choices you disenfranchise yourself from your own trust in yourself, and you should trust yourself first and foremost, always.

 

Blessed be...

 

[0s5i6ga6ttcwi]

First I will say that his treatment of you was harsh. Anger is a very appropriate response here and even a year is not necessarily enough time to move through the grieving process.

 

Your choice now is what to do with that anger. Focus it, learn from it, and move on. Or, allow it to eat at you like a cancer and taint every other relationship you may have.

 

The more you grow and learn about yourself - your wants, your needs, your desires in life - the less likely it is that you will find yourself in such a situation.

 

I have made a few bad choices when it comes to relationships and otherwise. Every choice shaped who I am today. While I may regret a few I would not wish any of them away.

 

I sense also a feeling of "Will I ever find someone?" I will tell you here what I have told many women before:

 

Never settle for Mr Right-now when searching for Mr Right.

 

My husband is my best friend, my lover, and yes I believe him to be my soul mate. We also didn't meet until we were both in our 30s. Soul mate or not, I believe that had he and I met when we were both in our 20s we would not have been so well matched. We both had lessons to live and learn before we could be together.

And even after getting together we had a few rough patches. After over 10 years for each of us living as adults, we had developed our own ways of doing things and it took a lot of learning to compromise. Being in love or even being soul mates doesn't mean you'll never find reason to disagree and will never fight.

 

Focus not on those who are no longer together, but on those who weathered the storms and made it through to the other side together.

[Grigori Rho Gharveyn]

Thank you Maedrona, your advice to Silver Phoenix is very good.

We certainly won't dispute the truth of your points regarding anger, as you condition your statements very sensibly.

We would like to explain that we have an agenda at times, and one aspect of our agenda regards the prevalence of anger, particularly anger as a culture, and most particularly, anger as a social conditioning and brainwashing tool.

Many aculturated anger habits can be very self-harming, while, as you kindly point out, anger based on self-awareness can be liberating.

Because of these liberating properties, anger becomes very popular; consequently, those exploiting anger may often reinforce cultually conditioned habituated anger while presenting their social conditioning as enlightenment.

Discernment is often a difficult process to learn, so we try not to say anything that may inadvertently re-inforce culturally conditioned habituated forms of anger that may be self-harming, or that may appear to be harmful to others.

Thanks for reminding us thast some anger can be ok, so long as it successfully applied to our spiritual growth and not to our potential brainwashing, self-deception, or self-destruction.

 

Blessed be...

Namaste

 

[0s5i6ga6ttcwi]

There are people I did spend time being angry at. Finally, I realised that by directing my anger at them, I was not making any changes I was merely giving my power to them.

 

So, I made the decision to no longer be angry. I would instead use that power for my own benefit.

 

Anger, in and of itself, is not "bad". It is what we do with it, whether we use it or allow it to use us, that matters. I have addressed this in more detail in an article I wrote about Usui's Reiki Principles

[Grigori Rho Gharveyn]

oh!

We are getting shivers just looking at your teacher's picture, his name for this style of reiki is similar to two names we use for ourselves, Rho, and Ryu.  Put these together RyuRho and you see what we mean...

 

We are liking the points you make about focused vs unfocused anger.

As ever we love you r wisdom and good advice...

 

Blessed be...

 

[0s5i6ga6ttcwi]

I have found that even a soul mate can do nothing more than support. It is up to us to make sure our needs are met, emotional or otherwise.