Just tired of it all...

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Well. I come to an understanding. It does NOT matter how much you fill your head with book knowledge, experiences, or understanding intellectually. Nothing will change the deeper part of you, unless gone through a type of experience that makes change happen in your soul, vibration and frequency. I mean it doesn't matter what it is. Your mind and your ego can pull you in a different direction while your heart goes in another. My heart as far as I am concerned, chooses to follow a natural path. To go by intuition and direct experiment than having someone ELSE teach me. Which has always been a problem. But I have had many guides but feeling like I been wasting my time, what can I do?  well with observing myself it becomes clearer. We can honor the divine, through nature whether we know it or not, we do not need expensive tools and wait to get "one more book" , "one more tool" why do I say this? because I am frankly fed up! Theres nothing there except that person's experiences and what they believe is what, it is hard for me to ever follow what anyone else is doing because they have a narrow minded view on things , they do not even give advice to tell you to follow your own intuition. I guess what I am trying to say, we are attracted to author's works because they resonate with our frequency. I realized this very recently. I guess I am tired of ignoring what my Spirit is trying to tell me. So guess what, "fuck it" I shall say and be on my way to the path my heart feels towards.