Diary of a Liar Part 3 Growing Old Disgracefully

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      I turn 60 this January but I swear I don't feel a day over 59.  I walk with a cane now due to a fractured hip and femur and I know how to play it up for sympathy and to get people to open doors for me. You got to learn to play all the angles you can in this life,

       I'm not doing too bad.  My disability does not keep me from doing the things I really love to do and now that I don't spend 40 plus hours a week working I have time to do these things.  I read books and listen to entire symphonies without interruption. I paint and look for odd things. I don't have a mate but have been way past give-a-shit on that account for a while. Between the psychiatric meds and bad girlfriends my libido finally committed suicide.  Some folks are blessed with a sane, happy love life but I was never one of them. Thankfully I have this loud voice in my head that says " So what ? " when confronted with these things.  Move along, there's nothing to see here. Still in all, I know more folks who fucked up their lives with bad sexual choices and fruitless romantic pursuits than with substance abuse.

         We have a race riot brewing down the road here in St. Louis and they are already talking about what to do if the Ferguson shooting case turns into another Watts.  School districts plan to shut down if the cop is not found guilty. Everyone involved with this has muddied up what facts were available so much that NO VERDICT will seem satisfactory. Paranoia is getting kind of thick and the asshole media keeps pushing the wrong sorts of buttons. Maybe there will be an early winter blizzard the day the court makes it decision so no one could make it outside to riot. 

         Ain't I the fuckin' Cheerful Charlie ?  LOL

         It is 1;30 in the morning and I'm listening to the Stones, smoking reefer and drinking coffee. Smoking reefer does not turn me into a mumbling couch potatoe. I tend to get involved in " doing " when I'm stoned. Although, I am not averse to a more contemplative buzz with a room filled with candlelight and maybe some Chet Baker or Thelonius Monk on the stereo. YEAH BUDDY !!!! Living poor has taught me the value of simple pleasures. Of course the most obvious and overlooked Pleasure is the pleasure of NOT being in pain.

       " Pain and pleasure are the twins

         Who slightly out of focus spin

         Around us 'til we finally realize

         That everything that gives us pleasure

         Also gives us pain to measure it by. "  The Residents from

                                                                              Ship of Fools