Love Sometimes Requires Letting Go

[SunKat]

by Ariadne Green

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us." 
~Helen Keller~

A broken heart is like an elephant – it seldom forgets. The emotional connection between soulmates is a bond of human love.

This love can be saved, respected and prized, or it can be trampled on, buried, abandoned and even destroyed. Our humanness allows us to bond deeply with another human being and when that bond is between "true" soulmates, divine complements, it is meant to last forever.

Because divine complements are connected at three levels, the emotional, at the soul and the spirit, letting go when the relationship is over can be extremely difficult. So much so that many remain in an impoverished relationship far too long or emotionally attached years after the breakup.

Letting Go of Emotional Bonds 

Lingering emotional bonds can cause one to pine for the love that was lost, clutching onto the good memories even when the bad memories out number the good. Prolonged emotional attachment is often the result of over dependency on the relationship as the primary source of love. The loneliness and unbearable loss consume one's thoughts and revisiting the memories perpetuates the grief. Some may never be able to let go completely and can even sink into a dark depression, isolating themselves from others. They find it unimaginable that they could be happy with someone else. Even when all reason and logic tells them it's over and for the most part have moved on, the subconscious can hold on to the painful emotional residue for years. Embedded grief may resurface years later especially if triggered by another loss.

Dreams of reconciliation are common amongst those separated from their soulmates. In a dream, a dreamer may be joined by their estranged mate in green fields, familiar places, or in any number of recreated scenes from their relationship for a reunion of sorts. These dreams seem to reconcile the sense of loss, separation and abandonment they feel, filling them, if only temporarily, with a sense of joy and love. Although most dreams like these merely represent an unconscious wish, having little basis in reality, they satisfy the need to keep the love alive.

Letting go of the emotional bonds requires self-love and patience. For most, letting go is much like accepting death. One must come to terms with their soulmate's absence and set them free with love and forgiveness. The heart needs to grieve and will mend with some time, support and healing medicine. Wearing a pendant of rose quartz can sooth the aching heart and complete forgiveness can set the heart free to love again.

The Psychic Bonds of the Soul

The soul's psychic bonds can also present challenges after separation. Psychic connections can persist and are experienced as anything from being tuned in from time to time to sharing a psychic space that feels crowded and overrun with unwanted emotions most of the time. It's not unusual for soulmates to sense when the other is in danger or has suffered a loss and even to well up suddenly with unwanted emotions. Sometimes the information comes forth in a dream. Night after night, a soulmate visits trying to communicate their desire for reconciliation or simply to express their continued love. One woman described her soulmate's attempts to reestablish the relationship through the dreamscape as relentless. In her last dream, he asked her to call him.

These kinds of experiences constitute a strong psychic bond that's undeniable and that can be difficult to break. For those remaining loyal and steadfast to the promises they made before the incarnation, their willingness to see their divine complements through tough times may add to their own suffering. They may unconsciously run to the rescue by taking on their partner's karma. This kind of loyalty may become a burden too heavy to cope with. A psychic cord connecting one soul to the other often attaches when the human bond is great. Attached at the heart or solar plexus, itfunctions as a kind of lifeline for the soul that is dependent on the energy of the other. Cutting psychic cords is easy for an experienced psychic healer, but keeping the cords from reattaching is a more a difficult task, one requiring a deeper spiritual healing. The psychic phenomenon called cording can be repeated as much as 20 times a day. A soul using the life force of another seems to get its way more often than not.

The Eternal Connection of the Spirit

One bond between "true" soulmates, divine complements, can never be severed. The signature that links them at the dimension of spirit is based on eternal promise established at the beginning of the creation. It is an eternal bond housed at the heart of the spirit in a dimension beyond ordinary cognition, only perceived by those who have awakened to its spiritual power The recognition of the eternal promise does not mean that soulmates are meant to hold on to a relationship that has ended. To live with the kind of poverty of love that results in abuse, disconnection or perpetual discontent only produces more suffering and heartache. Letting go may be the most loving thing a soulmate couple can do. With forgiveness comes greater acceptance and a higher volume of love, a love that is less attached, full-hearted, at peace and complete.

[William J. Coblentz]

Hi, Ariadne, et. al.,

I've had that sort of persistent connection with another whom I'd wronged to some degree many years past, and experienced that connection attempting to re-form. I guess it's because I had mixed emotions about how it all turned out and wondered just how far it would be healthy to attempt to redress the situation without any expectations. Much of it had to do with traumatically-distorted relationships with my immediate family as I was growing up - I never did get the full story on a great many things until about 6 years ago, then had to spend a bit more time coming to terms with a great deal of it. This is common with traumatized empaths, isn't it? It doesn't seem to help when any such dreams tend to add more confusion than answers, either. Wish I had been able to realize all this 40 years ago, but I suppose it's not something to which we can set a time limit, is it?