Classic Couple Jokes!

[Carmen Elsa Irarragorri Wyland]

Marriage is a beautiful thing, but men and women are also different creatures, as any couple can testify. As a result of that struggle to bridge the gap between male and female, joke material is hardly scarce...

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. 

 

On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." 

 

"What??" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"

 

"Well, Husband #1  was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be but never delivered.

 

Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. 

 

Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.

 

Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. 

 

Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. 

 

Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. 

 

Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. 

 

Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it. 

 

Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it. 

 

Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" 

 

"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" 

 

"Oh, you're a lawyer. This time I know I'm gonna get screwed!"