Are you in a relationship? Then one of you is probably hiding a sexual kink from your partner, the results of a new survey suggest.
The survey, which polled 2,000 Americans on their sexual habits and preferences, had found that more than 49 percent of respondents – across all relationship statuses – say they “currently have a sexual act” they’d like to try with a partner, but haven’t.
Of those, nearly 40 percent said they’re keeping it a secret because they were worried their partner will judge them, while 40 percent also feel that if their partner knew, it might “end the relationship,” according to results published in SWNS.
The survey, conducted by OnePoll and commissioned by lingerie company Thistle and Spire, polled both single and non-single folks, including singles who were not currently dating; singles who were dating casually; people in monogamous relationships; married people in monogamous relationships; and people in open marriages.
The poll didn’t ask which secret fetishes, specifically, that nearly half of the respondents were too shy to talk about, although most were comfortable discussing the things they had already tried to spice up their sex lives. Among the most common ideas were incorporating lingerie (36.49 percent had tried it), “sexting” each other during the day (33.35 percent), trying a new position (32.59 percent) and having sex outside of the bedroom (32 percent). Less popular options included having an orgy or a threesome (11.04 percent), seeing a sex therapist (10.72 percent), establishing an open relationship (10.67 percent) and going to a “sex/kink party” (10.61 percent).
The results further suggested that open communication might actually be the key to better sex. At least 90 percent of those surveyed said that being comfortable in expressing your needs and desires – and knowing what you want out of sex – will make the experience more enjoyable. About the same percentage felt that being more comfortable in your own skin leads to better sex, as well.
But it’s not just about communicating what you want out of sex — it’s about what you’re getting out of it. Only about 25 percent of those surveyed said they were “very” comfortable letting a partner know when they were unsatisfied in bed, with an additional 49 percent being only “somewhat” comfortable. It may come as no surprise, then, that the average respondent claimed to fake an orgasm around 25 percent of the time.
“At Thistle and Spire, we believe that speaking up for oneself and one’s pleasure is important,” said Maggie Bacon, the lingerie company’s founder and CEO, of the study results, per SWNS. “We support the idea that confidence in the bedroom leads to confidence in other areas of one’s life.”
I can believe it. Too much worry over mistrust and stress based on not letting go while living in the moment.