Twenty first century nativity.

 

On the twentieth floor of a high rise flat,

A new born baby cries by his mother’s side

Her name was Marie with no where to bide,

No father came to chase the rats.

The child lay in an old pram with no wheels,

No warm cot as the hospital was full.

On this cold winter night stars shone down,

Bringing no comfort in their nightly bloom.

She had left her country of warming sand,

To keep her baby safe from invaders hand.

Her husband died saving them both,

Pushing them onto  an unsafe boat.

After months of agonizing fearful travel,

Arriving at a place safe and free,

Kept as a prisoner within a shed,

She cried to heaven, God save me.

 

A gaggle of young children came to look,

Disturbed at Maries  baby’s awful plight,

Scampering off again into the night,

Shouting don’t worry Marie it will work out right.

She smiled wanely as she weakly rocked the babe,

Three men came in finely dressed and laughing,

Sneering at her and her new born child,

She screamed at them to go leaving no gift,

As they shrugged and laughing went.

Lying back on a soiled pillow seeking some sleep,

Hearing the rats scrapping at her feet,

Again she screamed and kicked them away,

She knew they would be back another day.

Church bells faintly rang through the frosty mist,

a congregation in finery sang their carols,

would she be missed at the food bank door,

night drew on darkness deep and dire,

what she would give for a warming fire.

Threadbare clothes pulled tight to her skin,

Cuddling her babe as her tears splashed down,

Holding him close to generate heat,

Cold biting hard at his little feet.

A friend came in at near dawn,

 carrying some food and a warming blanket.

As dawn fully rose all was quiet,

No sound was heard in the dereliction,

Of this unholy squaler and rubbish,

The weak sun shone through the broken glass,

Upon three figures holding each other fast,

No sound was heard no baby cries,

No one to miss them at the homeless fires.

 

© andrew .provan.mcintyre.7 january 2018.

 This is one of my poems would it be better for having an illustration? Do the words convey an image into one,s mind? I like both with an illustration and without.Words on their own can conjure images of what the reader sees mentally,as in a book .When the book is made into a film then it can be disappointing as the characters image isnt the same as one imagines.So i open the discussion, I look forward to other constructive comments.

Views: 212

Replies to This Discussion

Great poem. If you plan on a book if going to a publisher they don't like previously published works and in this modern world sharing via social media or forums is considered previously published. But if self publishing it is another story. Learned this recently myself as I have hundreds of prose and poetry wishing to publish.. Good luck... as far as images it is "nice" but your poem could stand alone just fine.

RSS

Have questions?

Need help? Visit our Support Group for help from our friendly Admins and members!

Have you?

Become a Member
Invited Your Friends
Made new Friends
Read/ Written a Blog
Joined/ Created a Group
Read/ Posted a Discussion
Checked out the Chat
Looked at/Posted Videos
Made a donation this month
Followed us on Twitter
Followed us on Facebook

Donations & Sponsorship

~~~~~~~~~~~
Please consider a donation to help with our continued growth and site costs

Connect

Visit The Temple
on Facebook:

....

Blog Posts

THE FUTURE 93!

Posted by Rosey Cross on November 8, 2024 at 5:19pm 0 Comments

WE!

Posted by Rosey Cross on November 5, 2024 at 5:33pm 0 Comments

IT'S SIMPLICATED

Posted by Rosey Cross on October 22, 2024 at 5:39pm 0 Comments

HOMECOMING OF THE GOD

Posted by Rosey Cross on October 17, 2024 at 4:29pm 0 Comments

The Master Race

Posted by the Draç on October 17, 2024 at 6:00am 0 Comments

CHAOTIC CURRENTS ABLAZE!

Posted by Rosey Cross on October 13, 2024 at 4:45pm 0 Comments

The Scapegoat: Yom Kippur

Posted by the Draç on October 12, 2024 at 7:00am 0 Comments

the Drac: 18

Posted by the Draç on October 11, 2024 at 11:00am 0 Comments

GAIA COMMENCES BIRTH!

Posted by Rosey Cross on October 9, 2024 at 4:23pm 0 Comments

TWIN FLAME UNITY!

Posted by Rosey Cross on October 2, 2024 at 1:50pm 1 Comment

THE MESSAGE

Posted by Rosey Cross on September 30, 2024 at 4:55pm 0 Comments

Pumpkin jam

Posted by Luciana A.Schlei on September 29, 2024 at 5:17am 0 Comments

AWAKENING IN THE BELOVED!..

Posted by Rosey Cross on September 28, 2024 at 5:45pm 2 Comments

Pumpkin Cookies

Posted by Luciana A.Schlei on September 27, 2024 at 10:32am 0 Comments

Roasted Pumpkin with Condensed Milk

Posted by Luciana A.Schlei on September 27, 2024 at 10:27am 1 Comment

Simple spell to tie your man down

Posted by Luciana A.Schlei on September 27, 2024 at 10:00am 1 Comment

The Enveloping Touch Spell

Posted by Luciana A.Schlei on September 27, 2024 at 9:53am 0 Comments

NOVEMBER AWARENESS

© 2024   Created by Bryan   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service